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High-Functioning Drinking and the Struggle Behind Success
- 3 days ago
- 5 min read
On the outside, everything looks fine. Your career is on track, the bills are paid, and people see you as reliable.
Maybe there is a glass of wine or a few drinks at the end of the day to switch off. It feels normal. Manageable. Even earned.
But over time, that way of unwinding can quietly turn into something else. Alcohol starts to become a tool you rely on, not just a treat.
Many professionals and high achievers use alcohol to cope with stress, feel confident, or get through long days. Because life still looks functional, it is easy to miss the deeper shift.
In this blog, you will understand what high functioning drinking really looks like and how you can take back control privately, before alcohol takes control of you.
What High Functioning Drinking Usually Looks Like
High-functioning drinking is not about obvious chaos.
It’s about staying outwardly “fine” while leaning more and more on alcohol in the background.
People in this group often:
Have good jobs and careers
Maintain relationships and family life
Show up to work and get things done
From the outside, nothing seems wrong. But inside, alcohol starts playing a bigger role. It may help you:
Manage stress
Calm anxiety
Switch off your mind
Get through tough days or social situations
Because your life still looks successful, it’s easy to tell yourself it’s not a problem. You may feel you’re choosing to drink, when in reality it’s becoming your main coping tool.
This is where the illusion of control shows up. You’re productive, you’re “on,” and you’re drinking. It all seems to work until it doesn’t.
Tolerance builds, burnout creeps in, mood and sleep get worse, and suddenly the line between “functioning” and “dependent” is much thinner than it looked.
Can You Be “an Alcoholic” and Still Be Successful?
Yes.
Many people live with high-functioning alcohol dependence. They keep their job, look after family, and stay on top of life, while quietly struggling with alcohol in the background.
The real question is:
“Has alcohol become something I need to cope, rather than something I simply choose?”
If alcohol is now:
A regular way to deal with stress
Something you worry about cutting back
A habit you hide or minimise
then it’s worth paying attention, even if everything on the outside still looks good.
This isn’t about labels. It’s about noticing patterns.
Why Success Often Hides Dependency
Ambition has a double edge. The same drive that helps you hit targets and stay composed can also push you to ignore your own limits.
Many high performers:
Feel pressure to always deliver
Don’t want to show “weakness”
Are used to pushing through stress and fatigue
Alcohol can become a way to unwind, calm the mind, or keep going without falling apart.
This can lead to what’s sometimes called controlled dependency, drinking that still looks moderate on the surface but is being quietly reinforced by:
Ongoing stress
Social and work expectations
Easy access to alcohol
It’s less about dramatic loss of control, and more about needing alcohol to hold everything together.
Our facilitators often says:
“Success can be a great disguise for struggle — until the mask starts to crack.”
This isn’t about blame. It’s about noticing that a coping strategy that once helped you manage life may now be taking more than it gives.
Here are Major Warning Signs to Watch For
High-functioning drinking rarely looks like the movie version of addiction.
There may be no missed days at work, no big public scenes, no obvious drama.
Instead, it can look like:
A busy, successful life
A full calendar
A polished image
Quiet, private drinking habits
Some common early signs include:
Needing alcohol to relax or sleep, especially after stressful days
Secret drinking or quietly topping up drinks
Downplaying intake, telling yourself it’s “just a glass” or “just to unwind”
Irritability or restlessness when you don’t drink, even if you usually don’t skip days
Using alcohol as a reward for working hard or getting through tough weeks
Worrying what others notice, but reassuring yourself that you’re still “performing”
A lot of high-functioning drinkers think:
“I’m not like them. I’m still doing fine.”
But holding everything together on the outside doesn’t always mean you’re okay on the inside.
Research in Australia and elsewhere shows that many people in full-time work drink at risky levels.
Dependence doesn’t always appear as a crisis. It often lives quietly in routine.
Why Private Help Works Best for High Achievers
For many professionals, the biggest fear isn’t:
“Do I need help?”
It’s:
“What happens to my reputation, my job, or my family if anyone finds out?”
The idea of stepping away from work for weeks, joining group rehab, or telling people what’s going on can feel harder than facing the drinking itself.
That’s why private, confidential support can be so powerful, especially for high-functioning clients.
Modern online recovery programs:
Are discreet and 1:1
Can be done from home or office
Fit around work and family commitments
Use evidence-based methods, not guesswork
You don’t have to “pause” your life to get help.You can work on your drinking quietly, with a professional, while you keep showing up for your job, your business, and your family.
How Reset My Future Supports High-Functioning Clients
At Reset My Future (RMF), we understand that high-functioning professionals need a different kind of support. You need:
Privacy
Flexibility
Clear structure
Real, practical tools
The Alcohol Recovery Program
Reset My Future’s Alcohol Recovery Program is:
12 weeks long
Non-residential (you stay at home and keep working)
Based on one-on-one sessions, not groups
You work privately with a trained facilitator who combines:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Motivational coaching
Guided reflection and practical tools
The goal is not just to stop or reduce drinking.
The goal is to understand why you drink the way you do, and to build new ways to cope with stress, pressure, and emotion.
Flexible, Confidential, and Practical
Sessions are flexible, so you can book around meetings, travel, and family.
Everything is confidential and conducted online.
You get clear steps and progress points, so you can see your growth without feeling rushed or judged.
Because you work on this alongside your real life, you can immediately test what you learn in the situations that challenge you most:
Work events
Client dinners
Social occasions
Evenings at home
References
Addiction (2021). Occupational stress and alcohol use among professionals: Controlled dependency and coping mechanisms. Addiction Journal.
Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW). (2023). National Drug Strategy Household Survey 2022–2023: Alcohol consumption and employment status. Canberra: AIHW.
Frontiers in Psychology (2022). Effectiveness of confidential online interventions in reducing alcohol use among working professionals. Frontiers Media SA.
National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). (n.d.). Functional alcohol use disorder and the illusion of control. National Institutes of Health.
Graeme [Reset My Future Facilitator]. Personal communication, 2025.
About the Author
Graeme Alford is the founder of Reset My Future and has been sober for over 40 years. Once a high-functioning alcoholic whose addiction cost him everything—including his career and freedom—Graeme rebuilt his life from the ground up. Today, he leads a one-on-one recovery program that helps people stop drinking, reset their thinking, and start living a life they’re proud of.He holds a Diploma in Alcohol, Other Drugs & Mental Health and has worked with hundreds of clients who want a real alternative to traditional rehab. His approach blends lived experience with evidence-based strategies—and a deep belief that no one is too far gone to change.
